The Recipe for a Broken Heart

1 perfectly good heart
3 cups of pain
2 cups of sorrow
1 gallon of tears

2 pounds of false promises
1 cup of broken trust
1 quart of lies
3 pints of missed opportunities

Place Heart in large bucket filled with tears. Soak for 2 hours then poor in the 2 cups of sorrow. Chop of the missed opportunities and false promises and throw them into the mix. Add in the quart of lies and bring mixture to a boil. Slowly stir in the pain. Pull out the heart and cover it in the broken trust. Serve with a frown, your dish is complete.

Looking For The Light

Dark, why is the world always cold and dark. It is so hard to find a light in this world. I have not yet found a light, only empty bodies surrounded in darkness. This darkness, it consumes all the light that exists. If someone is around a person with this dark, they become cold and dark too. That is why I must be careful on my search for light. I am light, so the darkness waits to devour me. I must be careful. I can feel the dark trying to creep into my heart, it hurts. I must be careful, I must find the light. There has to be at least one other person with the light. Or has this world really gone dark? No, maybe that other light is searching for more light like me. I hope that is the case. I want to be with light and help change the world. I want to find the one just for me. I wonder where that person is. A person would think that a glimpse of light would stand out against all this darkness, but no, it blends in, I blend in. No one can see my light, no one except for the darkness within everyone. They look and laugh, they despise my light.


On my journey for light, I dodge the hurt that people throw at me. I protect my light, for it is what make me me. I do not want to become like one of them, one of the dark. Where is this person, the one just for me, the one of light? I wonder if that person knows I am searching? I hope that is the case. The darkness doesn't what me to find that person, they keep me away. They are the ones that make me blend in, so I cannot be found. The dark knows I want to be found, that is why they hide me. Some act like the light, pretend to be the one just for me. They fill me with joy, but then the dark within them crushes it. They use my light against me. So many times I have thought I had found the one just for me, but it was just dark in disguise. I am scared now, in my search for the light. What if it's only darkness again? I don't want to try again. What if it really is the light and I miss out of the one just for me? I must keep trying, but I must be careful. Protect my light. My light is slowly fading from all the false light being thrown at me. I don't know what to do anymore. Do I search for the one just for me? Or do I hide away...?


Hello? Yes? Who is there? It is you. What do you mean? I am you, you are me. We are the same. Oh? Why are you here? I am here to help you. Help you on your search for the light. Really? You'll help me? Well I am you after all. Thank you. I need it, the dark has been hurting me so much, I don't know what to do... It'll be okay, I will help you find the one just for you, we shall be happy. Happy? Yes, that is what you are looking for isn't it? A world of happiness? Yes, a world where everyone is happy, that is what I want. Then you need to find the one just for you. I have tried, but the darkness pretends to be the light, so I do not know. That is why I am here. I will help you know the difference. How? I am well known by the darkness, we used to be of the dark, or at least I have. I don't understand. If we are the same, how could you be of the dark and not me? We are of one body, but not of one mind. Is that why I felt darkness within me back then? Yes, don't you still feel it now? It is too hard for me to feel the difference between light and dark now... You poor child, I will help you remember. Now, let us continue our journey, our journey for the light.


To be continued...

Out of My Comfort Zone

Not a big fan of the mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff that you see in chickflicks but here you go.

A flower petal falls onto her face, the sun shining just right. In this garden of beauty, I just want to hold her tight. Cherry blossoms fill the air, blowing with the wind. I here the splash of water from the lake behind us. Her eyes more blue than the lake. She stands there in her purple sundress, staring off into the distance. I step toward her and embrace her in my arms from behind.
"Victoria" I whisper in her ear. She jolts at hearing her name, but continues to smile.
"The setting sun is beautiful, isn't it?" Victoria laughs.
"Yeah" I rest my head on shoulder against her neck.
"Christain" I feel her head look down at her feet.
"Hm?"
"Do you think I'll ever find love?" The wind picks up speed and a flood of cherry blossoms surround us.
"Of course you will" I stand up straight and release my hold on her.
"But I only have 3 days left and I haven't found anyone to love" Victoria folds her arms.
"Maybe you're not looking hard enough" I turn her around to face me. She sticks her arms out quickly to catch herself.
"What do you mean?" She looks up at me, her deep blue eyes dragging me in like a whirlpool.
"Victoria..." I take a deep breathe.
"Yes?" I lean into her and kiss her deeply, all the love I have flowing into her. I wish this moment could last forever, but it was over. She backs up and covers her mouth. "Chr-christian?!" Her face turns a bright red.
"I love you Victoria. Weither you love me back is your choice, but I just needed to tell you."
She covers her face. "I...I..."
"Yes?" I grab her shoulder. "You're going to fall..." I pull her against me.
She holds onto me tightly and begins to cry. "I love you too" I smile brighter than I have before.
A bright light surrounds up and Victoria is lifted into the air. "Thank you. You have set me free. I'll miss you." I watch her go up and up until I couldn't see her anymore.
"I'll miss you too..." I whisper as I begin to cry.

Flash Stories, Part 10 (Final)

I want to be with him, but I don't want to be with him. Why did he have to be a demon? I wish to right my wrongs and return to heaven. If only I could remember what my wrong was, then I would know how to correct. I want nothing more than to return home. At least that's what I think, that's what I want to believe. Maybe... just maybe... that's not what I truly want. Perhaps I should listen to my heart rather than my head. Who cares if the one I love is a demon, I'm never going to remember what I did wrong, I'm never going to be an angel again. He loves me for me, not what I am. I should do the same for him.

Flash Stories, Part 9

She says she can't love me as long as I am a demon. I cannot change that, but I don't want to be one anymore. That's why I left that world, so I could live as something other than a demon. I didn't ask for this, I wanted to be human. That angel girl has fallen from heaven and was forced to become a human. That's what she tells me at least. She wished to be an angel but was forced to be human. I want to be human but am forced to remain a demon. Why does it have to work out like this? Why must I thirst for her blood every second? I only want to remain with her.

Flash Stories, Part 8

That was an awful nightmare, who was that little boy? I swear I've seen him before, long long ago. He was there, when I fell from heaven, laughing at me. I know it was him, I know it! Why.. why is it that no one else seem to notice him? He was so different from all the rest, dressed in all black in a world of white. That evil laugh behind those innocent eyes. He's here with me now, where is he, where is this menace? There, behind the demon I love, cutting him open with that disturbing smile. Why can't anyone see him but me?

Flash Stories, Part 7

I wonder if that beautiful angel is doing alright. Does she know I am what I am, a demon of the night? I have to be careful, if I get to close, it may end badly for us both. I cannot let her find out who I truly am, for then she will no longer love me. If she knew, how badly I wish to sink my teeth into that pure neck of hers, she would go berserk. I need to see her again, see if she's alright. There she is, up in that tree, she seems to be sleeping. I wonder what she dreams about, or what she thinks about when she's awake. Am I on her mind?

Flash Stories, Part 5

I can't sleep. I can't think straight. What has this man done to me? I've seen him only once, but that seems enough to understand the feelings I have toward him. I feel his presence near me. I went to go to bed in a tree, could he be nearby? Why would he, I saw him go off in the other direction. What does this man want with me? Is he truly a demon, has he cursed me into loving him? Making me not be able to sleep is a cruel punishment. This is what I should have expected from a demon I suppose.

Flash Stories, Part 4

Who is this man? I saw him rise through a large crack in the ground. Is he some sort of demon? If so, does he know I'm an angel? He wouldn't show such affection to me if he knew, would he? Does this strange man have feelings for me? Do I have feelings for him?! No! I cannot, it is forbidden for an angel and a demon to be together. well, I'm not exactly an angel anymore... I've lost my wings, I've lost my memories, I'm not sure of who I even am anymore. Maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to love this man.

Flash Stories, Part 3

Yes, I am finally free. Out of that dark world I used to call home. Up from the dirt, the darkness that surrounded me, into the light. Who is that over there? A tattered girl kneeling on the rough ground. Her dress is torn, but you can tell it as well as herself used to be very beautiful. She cries and pleas, talking about returning home. Why does she feel her back with such anguish, does it hurt her? I will find out about her, crawl to her if I must. I can stand, I can walk, I can talk. Her voice is a melody, calming my black heart. She is lost, I am found. I will be there for her, care for this girl and her forgotten past, because I will be her future.

Flash Stories, Part 2

Wings. I had wings, I was an angel... I did something wrong.. what was it again? It must have been really horrible to have been dropped from heaven. I don't want to be here, I want to go back. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, can you please forgive any wrong I have done? My tears are running down my cheeks like streams into my mouth. They taste like little pieces of freedom. Yet I am still here, kneeling on the harsh ground in a torn white dress. I still don't understand what I have done wrong.. I always tried to be my very best. I also tried to be who everyone wanted me to be. Was I not good enough, I suppose not.

Too Close

From this spot on the cliff, you could hear the ocean waving its final goodbyes. The wind whistling a silent tune, the loud but hidden whimpers of a lost girl. She was on the edge, starting down into the rocky abyss, water crashing against it all. Inching closer, half of her feet on the air. Closing her eyes and opening her arms, she prepares herself. Tears streaming from her eyes into the ocean. Leaning forward she has given up. Seconds later she opens her eyes and is staring off into the forbidden sunset, locked in a young man's arms. He held her tightly, crying along with her. "Sorry, I'm so sorry." he repeats over and over again in her ear. She frowns upon her failed attempt for she was still blinded, unable to hear what is going on around her. "I love you." he whispers and her eyes can finally see. Her eyes now filled with tears of joy she turns around to return the man's embrace. "I love you too," she responds, "thank you."

Loving Torture

His soft voice fills my ears,

I am wrapped up in him.

The smell of blood lingers on his clothing.

How can someone so violent and so cruel,

Be like this in this moment.

Holding me gently,

Slowly kissing me.

The taste of blood filling my mouth.

Its metallic taste,

Its warmth,

In this moment it was alright.

He was so different now,

No more crazy,

No scissors in his hands.

Instead it was gentleman,

And my hands were in his.

 I have forever awaited for now,
This moment.

He has finally given into liking me,

He has finally admitted it within himself.

Now I can be happy,

The one person I love and will always love,

Now tells me he loves me too.

That is the best new I could hear.

I wish for this one moment to continue on forever,

Him touching me,

Kissing me,

Loving me.

I want nothing more than him.

He may be violent and still strike me with objects,

And tear through my long back with his nails,

But he fills me with such joy.

The feeling of my skin tearing,

The smell of blood around me,

It's all so wonderful.

Best of all,

He is my torturer,

He gives me this joy.

Forgotten Memories

The ring glittered in the moon lit water as it slowly sunk to the bottom of the lake. A girl is crying on the grass, her head in between her knees. Other than her sorrowful whimpers, there was no sound in the forest. She was alone and forgotten. Little had she known that the ring would bring her to another dimension, given to her by the one she loved with all her heart. It was all some cruel trick, and to think I was the main act. She laughs between tears.

To be continued....

Death of Love

When I close my eyes

There he is in front of me

Laughing, playing, his smile so bright

He was always happy

He was always kind to everyone

I loved him

Still do

My beautiful little boy

With short black hair

The softest pale white skin

The brightest green eyes

He was perfect

My perfect boy

If only I had seen the car

When he was playing ball in the yard

If only I had heard the car

When he was in the street

Tears run down my cheeks

The memory I suffer with every day

So vivid as if it were yesterday

Three years have gone by

He would be seven today

So young and he is gone

He was perfect!

He didn't deserve this fate

It's all my fault

It should've been me

Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters

I

 

I am young and in a new world

I come across a beautiful treasure

Stepping closer I go to pick it up

In my hands it shatters

I am depressed

 

 

II

I am older now and in the same world

Another beautiful treasure is there

Maybe if I pick it up this time it wont brake

I get close and it shatters

Again I am depressed

 

III

 

Older and wiser I am still in the same world

Yet another beautiful treasure

I want it so badly and can't help myself

I take two steps toward it and it shatters

Depression stays with me

 

IV

 

Still getting wiser with this same cruel world

A fourth beautiful treasure is before me

Once there was a time it was mine alone

I want it back, but I cannot get any closer now

For it will shatter if I do

I sit down and stare

Wondering if it'll ever be mine again

Depression stregthens and I cannot smile

 

V

 

This world has treated me wrongly

It stole my beautiful treasure

But I know now

That I will NEVER get it back

Black darkness swallows me up

Will I ever be happy again?

Shadow Boy

Dark nights filled with creeping shadows

He opens the door a peak

Peering in the small crack,

Waiting for me to fall asleep

He never leaves while I'm awake at night

Always staring, always watching

Sometimes I wonder what he does,

While I am sleeping in bed

Does he hurt me?

Does he curse me?

Or simply does he do nothing at all?

Perhaps all he does is look,

Until the sun comes up

Perhaps he's friendly,

But too shy to come in

Sometimes I hear him crying,

Small whimpers of a child

Perhaps he's a little boy,

Who only wants to play

I suppose that boy is lonely,

Hiding from the sun

Where does he go?

I wish to find him one day,

Tell him, "I'll play with you."

For at night he seems so scary,

Creeping in the shadows

I feel wrong in being afraid,

A selfish child

Maybe, just maybe,

Tomorrow night,

I'll finally say hello

Eyes

Her eyes began to sparkle,

Filled with the past that she wishes to forget.

It's trapped in there.

The tears run from her eyes,

Dropping lightly on her dress.

The eyes were delicate,

In the sense that they were filled with emotion.

A bright blue with hints of purple.

You look into them and wonder,

What was going on behind those eyes?

Where did she come from?

Why is she so sad?

I want to speak to her,

Give her a hug and make her feel better.

I can't sadly,

For I am not there,

Nonexistent in that world.

I am just a small figment,

Who was forced into her world.

I am invisible to that beautiful girl.

All I can do is stare into those never ending eyes,

And I am frozen.

I can't move,

Can't speak,

Can't think,

I am trapped in her eyes.

Why can't I talk to her?

I want to become part of this world.

The world of gorgeous people,

With emotions and the ability to cry.

I want to be there for that lonely girl.

Inventing Beauty In The Darkness

 

If I could see all the darkness but the light

From the sea of pain shall it open,

I would know by heart

About the beauty within the dark.

If only you were here by my side I would know

This was a painful cause where an alter hangs the light

And a vampire's teeth sink in as a soul leaves.

If I could only see the light but stay in the darkness I would know

About the suffering you and I could forget

The love we share and keep hold of the secrets inside,

The gravestone

My heart was an angel with torn wings and a broken soul

In a world of hurt and anguish,

Hope seems lost

I could fill an ocean with all my tears

And keep plenty more among the sullen eyes of the angel,

Among the stars of their beauty,

 Deep darkness,

Love, and pain.

I could see you in my teary eyes

And think of you

With the sweet beauty in the darkness

The smell of roses between my eyes,

I could see the dark angel who always stayed by my side

About love especially in the heart with its beautiful darkness

So I would travel across the world

To see the beauty that you hold.

If I could love the light that purges through the dark,

I would discover what good it could bring

To this blackened heart,

I would redden the world

Safe from harm like the dull blade

Made of the sharpest metal forged

Or the unknown waters,

That carry sailors,

Dreams, and me

Far away from shore.

The Black Sky of Imagination

He comes to me, a dark angel of love

It's me he’s flown so far for

The softness of his warm touch as he caresses me

I am surrounded by his black wings full of delicate feathers

My eyes feel the hurt he’s suffered

He reeks of sadness and pain

The quiet whimpers of this poor angel

Prince Raveyn Cartner of the kingdom of Gravesend

He wasn’t really much of an angel

Fights and battles he’s one, he does it for me

He’s a man with a dodgy personality

“Because I love you, I will stay away”

The Black Sky of Imagination, my eyes wonder to it

I imagine the life we could’ve had

This made me as happy as rain on a gloomy day

My eyes were swallowed up by my tears

His Gothic Princess begging him to stay

Soon the battles will cease and he will come back to me

Glass bridges tie us together,

Our path almost invisible

I will always remember him to the point I shall forget

Demo, watashi wa kesshite wasurenai koto ga dekimasu.

The mood whispers his name and he leaves once again

The stars follow behind him, just in case he falls

The Prince of Gravesend, my dark angel,

Reeking of pain of the battles he’s won